From the Porch to the Backseat

Thursday night at the Triple Rock. The Shadow Government are in town from Chicago and bless us all with 14 drummers, 8 ambient noise dudes, Bias-Dog on bass, and our old friend Joel (aka Andy Koufax) on guitar. Okay maybe that's an exaggeration but there were seriously a lot of dudes on the stage.

 

Everybody wants a big bazooka.

 

Cam and JC -- the Cameron Killers hold down the south side bar of the 3Rock.

 

Jeff whispers sweet nothings into Joel's ear that frighten and confuse him.

 

I finally get to access my studio again! For the last month I haven't had any keys as Jeff lost them and wasn't quick about replacing them for me.

 

Snapshots 1 -- breakfast at the Bandbox. This motley crew runs the joint -- Lukeklye, Lukerrandall, Adam, and Gretchen (aka Slayer). The food is delicious and the odds are that one of them will be drunk or high when they serve it to you. Bonus!

 

Lukekyle shows us the brand new cash register. They have programmed it to say "Fuck Todd." Not "Have a Nice Day" or "Thanks for Your Business." Nope. "Fuck Todd" is what they went with. Nice choice, friends.

 

CC Club with Colezoes and JV Squad. JV refuses to contribute to the blog.

 

Afterbar at Jawsdog's porch. A lot of people in circle. It was almost like a rap cypher but without the rapping or hip-hop beats and with more discussion of "crazy shit I saw on YouTube this morning," and recaps of lost.

 

Jawsdog explains her extraction tool.

 

Crazy shit hanging from the porch ceiling.

 

The party thins out and moves to the front porch. That's the thing about Minneapolis. You can't throw a rock without hitting a porch and some people sitting in it. BTW - McTubbins gets mad hyphey.

 

Tired drunk shot #1. Jeff passes out in his chair -- too much vodka, not enough sleep, or so he says.

 

Flash forward to Saturday. Jawsdog takes us to a keg party in a sleepy part of St. Paul. It's being thrown by two dudes she grew up with in Dixon, Illinois who have loud voices, a love of pop-punk, and hearts of gold. 50's Dad gives the thumbs up to our new friends and their hospitality. BTW when we arrived these 2 bros had spent all day drinking warm keg beer waiting for people to come to their party. We were the first and last to arrive.

 

Down in the basement of the keg house a secret spot for "jam sessions" is revealed. They show us their banner which covers and protects the drumset from dust.

 

Snapshots 2 -- preparation for the jam sesh. Brenda is not into this.

 

Iceberg in full effect, beard and all. The night goes late, the fire burns hot, the beers run wild, our hearts are pure.

 

Jawsdog on a couch made of the finest egyptian satin. Or velvet.

 

Porches are well represented this weekend.

 

Brenda parties with stealth.

 

WTF? Who smokes pipes? The dudes who live at this house apparently. 50's, McTubbins, and Jeff investiages the pros and cons of this ancient ritual. The results are mixed.

 

Keg cups, pipe tobacco, and drum sticks. It's safe to say that this shit is about as real as it gets. It was a gathering Now it's a party.

 

Not sure what happened here.

 

Snapshots 3 -- The time was right. The stars aligned. We had waited long enough. A full-on raging "jam sesh" broke out. Playlist: Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters," Metallica's "Enter Sandman," Stone Temple Pilot's "Plush."

 

Yes, all of these pedals are necessary. Especially the phaser. Kudos to the dudes who live at this house for keeping Boss pedals afloat single-handed in recent years.

 

Tsunami is a party cat who has a total crush on Tubbs.

 

While McTubbins sleeps, we steal his infamous glasses to learn what its like to have your face framed by 10,000 pounds of hexagon. Interestingly, it's a lot like the picture on the bottom right.

420 and other parties

A grey-skied Monday in Northeast Mpls. We are at Mayslack's for food and brews. McTubbins makes Jeff an honorary Chester Flyer, if only for one night. Why does McTubbins still have his high school letter jacket? Good question.

 

Dark and ominous storm clouds approach, a bad omen for the Mayslack's patio.

 

I borrows a pancho to brave the impending downpour, my new fishing boat parked in the background. Also, why does McTubbins drive around with a spare pancho.

 

The rain totally fucks us over, forcing Blestos to enjoy his tacos inside. Boo.

 

Fastforward a few hours and shit quickly got out of hand. When you end the night wearing a 1999 high school letter jacket, a neon-yellow trucker hat, and drinking a giant beer you are either an ironic post-modern hipster or a raging asshole. Those categories are not mutually exclusive.

 

Blestos and Big Time Fuller cement this porch party as "totally real." BTF freaks out about something, reasons unknown.

 

In retaliation, Blestos totally loses his shit on Big Time Fuller and almost takes her to the mat with some wicked moves he learned watching WWF as a youngster in suburban Fargo. A beer in one hand, his girlfriend's ass in the other, it's safe to say that things are looking good for this asshole.

 

Party host McTubbins.

 

5ives and Danielle are totally analog. This is what they considered an ipod like 30 years ago, weird.

 

Next night. 4/20 dudes. The night starts uneventfully for me, as I am working. JC and I are bored so we make these calculators say funny shit, a la 3rd grade math class. The second one says "Go to hell" - FYI.

 

Pescara burger crust or deep dish? JC gives his approval to both.

 

reen Mill kitchen. So real, so many ways.

 

The highest area code on the planet, dudes.

 

McTubbins shows up so stoned that his eye turned into a bike light. Humboldt county, bros.

 

Jawsdog shows up so stoned that she drinks a gin and tonic. BC Buds, man.

 

Jeff forcefeeds me whiskey. Why? What a way to end the night. Maui Wowee, bras.

 

Fast forward to Saturday night, TPC show at the Triple Rock. Jawsdog and Brenda are secretive, bashful drunks.

 

Rage and fear, perfect bedfellows.

 

50's and Jeff are Danish schoolboys. Whiskey makes them play better rock shows, so they load up beforehand.

 

Jawsdog and Brenda kindly point out the long-haired, hockey jersey-wearing tall dude in front of them. Thanks for the heads up, friends!

 

Snapshots provided by Jaws. A girl's blogging work is never over.

 

Mike Deuhs, aka Money Diamonds is a tired drunk. His hat is sometimes mistaken for Eddie Vedder's shirt circa '92.

 

TPC play a show, McTubbins' hand guides the crowd to the rhythm.

 

So is this guy looking to play with a band? Or is this a band looking for a drummer? Specifics are needed.

 

Building Better Bombs (B cubed) also play this night. Stef and Isaac are pissed off.

 

B cubed play so hard that they cross-dimensions.

 

TPC have a similar cross-dimensional problem.

 

Snapshots. Backstage VIP parties. Cam and Cindy put on their "sassy faces" and regale us with stories of how they "don't take shit from no one...mm-mm...no way."

 

The Triple Rock after the show.

 

After party with show poster artists KHS Collective. Brenda is either winking or has a facial tick.

 

Calm discussions over cans of warm beer. Hands folded, communist hat upon his head, Christian is prepared for a long-term discussion of Soviet Bloc history.

 

Jeff and I seriously get into Lost. Totally intense and scary. We have just finished the first season and have currently started downloading the second season to watch on our computer. BTW watch out for the Others.

 

Tuesday night at Luce's, Jeff makes the most fucked-up eating face ever made in the history of fucked-up eating faces.

Resurrection Blog

Let me start at the very beginning... Tuesday night, Jeff made Ramen for dinner, this was the highlight of the mid-week. Seriously, nothing else happened.

 

Matt turns gay and decides to get his legs waxed.

 

Okay now skip forward because I didn't take any other photos for a few days. Friday night, it's 75º and we are seriously going to get into it. First we pick up McFlubbins.

 

Unbeknownst to most, Fifties is actually some kind of sick ass serial killer with weird fucked up taste. Exhibit A - Vag Cake. Yes.

It's kind of fucked up. But then you notice that he took great care to sculpt pubes out of a delicious sugary confection and all is forgiven. Such skill and artistry.

 

Mad Alchohol Alignment. Yes.

Summer time keg parties are awesome, especially when you augment them with Sparks. First outdoor kegger of the season.

 

50's got a fire pit for his backyard from Menards, totally worth it.

 

Cam Drops back for some epic hot dropping, starts talking about "smokey treats," drinks keg beer. News at 11.

 

Jaws in Swing: Jawzdawg gets hyphey to recieve mixed results.
Exibit B - Mad Sex Harness

A regular Mary Lou Fucking Retton, huh?

 

5ives and Danielle are totally analog. This is what they considered an ipod like 30 years ago, weird.

 

Adam arrives with a new haircut from Great Clips and an embroidered Golden Gophers Hockey Sweatshirt. He is almost mistaken for a lost fraternity pledge.

 

Danielle looks like Rosie the Riveter, Laurie Kyle has an Irish accent, and 50's is perplexed by the whole equation. Apparently this shit is 'the jam'.

 

Honestly, I have no idea what is going on here. Big Head Contest, maybe or just plain old cheek friendships.

 

Lukekyle arrives, in the midst of a "cleansing." Health related, not ethnic.

 

Jeff goes in for the "Blowjob of the Century"!!!!! Mctubbins is into some kinky shit though, so he's into it.

 

This is either an offering to the party gods or a mass salute to Blestoze for having the most glorious pectorals to grace the earth.

 

A little buttsex, perhaps?

 

Cam, cigarette inspector. Yo, there any weed in there?

 

Lukekyle sets himself up for some Triple Sowkow Lutzhemoglobin gymnast shit. He's training for '08 summer olympics in Belfast.

 

Tree climbing truly is the dance party of 2006, the awkwardly drunk physical activity you pursue with your friends. You know that you're really not talented enough to try it sober, but ambitious enough to succeed after a few gins.

 

A soft landing after a hard fall.

 

The really hard part is figuring out what you're gonna do when you get to the top and all your friends are looking at you from the ground. Pump your fist? Yell? Smoke a spliff? They all seem anti-climactic. McTubbins decided to go for the open-mouthed "crazy face," fairly popular these days. McTubbins has been rumored to say "It's better than sex, trust me."

Biggest Blog Ever

BBQ parties begin, I think we're jumping the gun a little bit but man it was good.

 

Jeff says, "Life is like a box of beers, you never know what you're gonna get."

 

Nippleclips mans the Q.

 

Hot dogs, Cheddarwurst and Turkey Burgers.

 

Colezos w/ brew.

 

Jeff makes a return trip to the liquor store to get some Sparks Plus, he buys 3 and drinks them all plus one other sparks.

 

First shot-gunning of the season, many more to come my friends, many more.

 

Pee parties.

 

 

Julie and Finger Tap leave too early.

 

Domestic Abuse

 

Beers were had.

 

 

Blog Signs.

 

A Parties not a party without Gin Shots.

 

Party.

 

Nicole falls out of a tree, the next day she claims she broke her tail bone.

 

Nicole falls out of a tree, the next day she claims she broke her tail bone.

 

Colieone spots Jeff, she makes a good sherpa.

 

Spring break '06. Mad titties.

 

Buttshotz.

 

Next morning we rehabilitate at the Bandbox. Fifties joins us.

 

You've heard of wine lips, check out the first recorded case of sparks lips.

 

Gretchen brings us lots of life juice (aka water.)

 

 

Later that day it becomes apparent that the turkey burger from the night before may not have been fully cooked. Jeff remains sick for 24 hours.

 

Saturday night is game night at Beak and Cam's. Cam makes veggie trays and beak makes nachos. We eat a shit ton.

 

I prefer broccoli and dip.

 

Beak spends countless hours slaving over his cheese dip, and it's worth it. Totes awesome broseph!

 

50's loves food, so it's natural for him to take lots of photos of different food.

 

We play a word game called apples to apples. Some people love this game, others hate it. I hate it because I never win.

 

Radical - could be compared to the challenger explosion.

 

50's and McTubbins go head to head.

 

 

The Grand Finale.

 

McTubbins and Jaws stop in at the greenmill for bloody mary's. A good start to the day.

 

Work is boring and I make this awesome sculpture similar to stonehenge.

 

Roshambo, NCAA, & Tool Time

Sunday night, we totally got into some shit.

 

Location: Nomad World Pub. First things first, I was introduced to a new game called dollar dollar dollar. I don't know if I'd say it was worth it, but it was pretty sweet, lucky for me McTubbins was in the giving mood and gave me many dollars to play with.

 

It was raining out, and it was cold and windy.

 

So begins the main event of the evening, a tournament in which paper, rocks, scissors (aka Roshambo) is the sport of choice.

What are the odds, Jeff vs. McTubbins are first to compete in the first round of elimination.

 

Jeff wins and McTubbins is automatically elminated. Loser.

 

Here's me halfway to reaching unhingedness.

 

These assholes are definetly getting into it.

 

This guy, Bo, had some crazy awesome shirt on.

 

Jawsdog wins! She makes it to the almost last round just to be beaten by paul. (wait, that's not paul)

 

Totally getting crazy.

 

WTF? A burlesque show intermission. No one told me about that.

 

Mad tits with tastles.

 

Get Naked, yes.

 

Butts and boobs.

 

Next night we watch the NCAA Final tournament and getting into some reality TV. Deal or No Deal is a Deal in my book. Also my favorite snack ever is chips cheese and jalapenos.

 

There it is, the tv with the basketball game on it.

 

Matt borrows my internet machine to check out some hot porn.

 

Jeff contemplates how awesome basketball is.

 

These photos are from yesterday, I tottally got the spring cleaning buzz going, so I though I would try my hand at some handy work, first I hung a light over the table. Success.

 

2nd I install a dimmer switch, I had to steal a face plate from the bathroom cause the one that was on here didn't fit anymore with the new dimmer switch installed, therefore it's a little crooked. Someday I will try and fix it.

 

Now I need to replace the bathroom switch cover.

 

Then I try and replace a perfectly good light fixture over the mirror in the bathroom, I got it from ikea, first the thing doesn't fit over the old hole which sucks, and as I was figuring out a solution I accidentally dropped the fixture and it broke. FUCK. So then I try and just put the old one back up, but as I go to reach for one custom screw that is essential in mounting the old fixture the screw falls down the drain in the bathroom sink. FUCKING SHIT FUCK.

 

$100 bucks later I have a new fixture that fits over the old hole and looks good, as well as 2 fixtures that don't work and are broken. I realize that I am not that handy.

We're Bloggin'

So I thought that maybe I should tell you about these people you'll be seeing in a lot of the photos. This is McTubbins and Jeff, Jeff is my husband and Aaron is a good friend. Friday night we had dinner at the Triple Rock.

 

After dinner we went back to McTubbins house. McTubbins showed Jeff the solid wood monkey he had bought for $12

 

This is Nicole.

 

Here's some crazy ass shit that McTubbins gets into

 

People start coming over, here's Isaac.

 

50's try's to throw up a blog sign. It's close.

 

Jocelyn in red.

 

Let me introduce my blog nemesis - Brian on the right aka Blestos - we're blog warriors, but to be fair and to extend an olive branch, you can check out his blog here. Also, meet Lindsey, she's on the left.

 

Next stop a place call the Hexagon, every 2nd Wednesday of every 4th month you can totally get 5 for 1's and see an awesome band called Vagina Pussy. Tonight we are seeing STNNNG, FYI the hand stamps were weird.

 

50's dad, along with Danielle, sometimes known as 60's mom.

 

Jeff Allen mixes Gin and Whiskey, crazy asshole.

 

Isaac is staying in touch with technology.

 

Of course the band.

 

Julie's on the right, I'm on the Left.

 

Red Friends. Brenda's on the right.

 

Brian and his blogging machine.

 

Now we go to Brian's for the first porch party of the season. The party is short lived.

 

A Race to get shots before bar close.

 

This is Ripplechip.

 

Jeff and I are experiencing hangovers and try to find breakfast. First we got to Mickey's Diner right near our house, but it's packed. So we head to the weird Mickey's that we've never been to on West 7th. It turns out to be weird in a good way so we stay.

 

Christmas decorations in April.

 

Jocelyn gives hair cuts. Danielle goes first.

 

Cool weird stuff on Jocelyn's porch. Danielle made Mango Puree Mimosa's.

 

This is my new hair cut, Jocelyn explained it me as a side ways bowl cut that looks cool. Jeff and I go on our first date in a long time.