Deucecities - Believe It!

Oh YES, IOWA

2009-04-13T10:41:00.011-05:00

Roadtripz. 50's, Isaac, Waff and I pile into a car and take on the 5 hour journey to Iowa Fuckin' City (IFC) with vigor. We're headed down to catch The Hold Steady at the Picador, see some old friends and allow the swelling spring fever we're all catching to explode. This trip marks only the second time that Jeff and I have been out of the Twin Cities together since Finn was born.

Charley Biggs is "Kickin' it Up." He looks really cool.

Springtime self-portrait.

Before the show we kick it at the Deadwood, another top notch IFC institution. We drink increasingly less expensive beer specials under the watchful eye of a golden dolphin.

Isaac's hair has gotten to new levels of awesome. He's kind of like Jesus.

At the show we meet up with Bill Adams (aka Dolla Dolla Billz), bearded, right. He is snappin' some picz too.

Crowd shots. PBR cans for $1.

photo Bill Adams

It is truly great to see The Hold Steady in a small venue packed with drunk and passionate Midwesterners. This is the setting they were always meant to be experienced in.

This guys decides that we're cool cause we know the lyrics to the songs just like he does. He starts buying us beers and forcing us to mouths the words to the songs a little too frequently. He gets style points for his passion.

Post show after-blows. We hook up with Zach (aka Fresh) for more hangings.

Bearded Ken Doll and Skeletor Face.

Nothing says Iowa style like a lime green sports car. The only natural way to contort your body when around a car like this is to do what Fresh and Waff are here -- sassy and with an urban attitude.

photo Bill Adams

Street urchins.

photo Bill Adams

Isaac, in a ray of golden-red light.

photo Bill Adams

After a long night, we wake up the next morning at Fresh's to walk to the Hamburg Inn #2, the greatest IFC food experience imaginable.

The krew, minus me. I'm taking the picture, dummy.

Biscs and graves.

Getting serious.

Pie or cake shakes. A whole piece of pie or cake is thrown into a blender with ice cream and turned into these delcious treatz. This specific shake is a red velvet pie shake.

For a split second I fell asleep during breakfast.

Midwesterns should not eat food on camera.

The trip is capped off perfectly by a ride around town in the back of Liz's (aka Lando) pickup truck. This is legal in Iowa, and awesome.

OMG, Isaac looks crazy. I think he has a secret star trek life that we don't know about.

Giving the thumbs up.

Fast forward a few days to LJ's birthday. Here is JC, wearing a pubic hair moustache of sorts.

Dance parties and drunken sing-alongs. Looking to the heavens for inspiration.

Camerons don't fuck around. For serious partiers only.

Gonna finish it off with your Finn Fix. He's 9 months now, has two teeth, crawls and kind of talks a little bit but only knows two indiscriminate words "mamamamama" and "dadadadadada." He is also a fantastic genius.

He won't let Jeff play the guitar anymore cause he wants to play it himself.

50's is our Thursdays babysitter. Here is a picture he took of Finn and him strapping on the Baby Bjorn to take a walk around the neighborhood. Yes, this actually happened. Jeff and I don't even use that thing cause its so weird, but Matt attacked it with aplomb. For more on their Thursday adventures check out Fives blog: younghunger.com

Total dude party chapped cheaks and all.

Springtime Agendas

2009-03-22T10:08:00.008-05:00

Okay this is what I have to tell you about. FYI I have been doing lots of hanging out lately. Mom's don't have to be lame you know, sometimes they don't have enough time to take photos of what they are doing and post it on a blog, that's all. Last night for example I hung out till 4am with 50's, Jordan and the Roonz and then got up at 7 to take care of my babe and then go to a full 8 hours of work on a Sunday, and you know what... It was worth it. What would piss me off more? Hanging out with my good friends, OR going to bed early and getting a good nights sleep. Answer: going to bed early. Life has actually been awesome since Finn started hanging out, things are crazy, Jeff and I work opposite schedules, but we get by and we still make time for beers on the porch, friends and record listening. The most awesome Finn effect is that our friends have become Aunts and Uncles and in turn we all depend on each other in an awesome sort of family style way.

Anyways... I Just thought I should let you know.

This coming spring into summer we will be participating in at least one awesome adventure per month and I thought that this might be a good opportunity to get back up on the blogging wagon. So here goes the itinerary:

April: Spring Road Trip! The Hold Steady (THS) in Iowa Fucking City (IFC) followed by a delicious breakfast at The Hamburg Inn, those attending include me, Waff, 50's, and Isaac (Cassi/Iceberg)

May: The Boss aka Bruce Springsteen. We will be in the pit for sure. "Rosalita, come out tonight!"

June: Weekend road trips to hang out with Chicago peeps and go see an afternoon Twins game at Wrigley Field.

July: Finn's first birthday, combined with 50's and Beak's birthdays equals awesome river tubing adventures.

August: Weekend cabin getaways with Denny Hecker @ Cross Lake.

Happy Staycation to Me.

2009-03-06T15:26:00.001-06:00

It was over 50º yesterday and we decide to take Finn on his first trip to the Como zoo. Jeff and I are home all week for our first ever "staycation".

It's all my two dads up in this zoo. On the left we've got Paul Reiser and on the right it's everyone's favorite art dad.

The Giraffe's and Zebra's have to stay inside because they hate the winter.

Finn thinks tigers are "super kew".

Then we head over to the conservatory to check out some indoor plant action.

Fern's are cool!

Cluck Cluck

2009-02-16T10:05:00.005-06:00

Hey Dudes, I just wanted to let everyone know that there is a new awesome blog in town called deucecitieshenhouse.blogspot.com. Nicole and I decided to start and arts and crafts/mom blog. I still am going to keep deucecities for the party blog, but since life is not all parties anymore, I decided to start a new blog. So if you're interested in domesticity and babies stop on by.

Wordisms,
-Scoops

A Blast from the Past

2009-01-26T09:25:00.006-06:00

let's war. from joel angerson on Vimeo.

Courtesy of Joelgurt Anderson III
June 24, 2000

Featuring:
TPC
The Vida Blue
Isaac "Cassi" Gale
Mark Shaw III
Seth
Some stoner Kid
Steph
Andy K.
Ian Casey
And yours truly

courtesy of Mateo Johnson
April 19, 2008

Whatever happened to the Party Prime?

2009-01-07T10:07:00.002-06:00

Jeff has been stock piling up on Sparks since Miller has decided to stop creating them because they do too good of a job of getting people drunk and awesome at the same time.

Allen Family Christmas at the Deuhs household. Finn is too tired and can't stay up for Santa times.

Finn get's a red hunting cap from his grandma and grandpa and an awesome snow globe, someday he will be our own little Holden Caulfield. Santa trades in his sleigh for a more modern red car.

Jeff falls asleep under the tree waiting for Santa, or something like that.

Finn get's an awesome new sweatshirt from his Mam.

We make christmas cookies.

Fast forward to New Year's Day, where a now-3-year-old tradition of Polar Bear jumping into Lake Minnetonka continues. This year the crew has grown to include Blestos and Doogie and 50's Dad and The Attack and a bunch of Mike Deuhs' crazy friends. Here the crew waitsin line and pretends not to be scared to death of jumping into near-freezing lake water.

**Also it should be noted that on New Year's Eve we had a party, when the clock hit midnight we tried dancing to Jay-Z and we didn't know what to do. Is it over?

Jeff and my Uncle John (the Godfather of this whole crazy tradition) end up being joined at this last minute by some weird lady who doesn't have a jumping partner. How awkward.

Don't worry, those aren't electric cattle prods those guys are holding. Just poles to help you if you need them.

Mike Deuhs tries to showboat on his way up to the starting line and ends up slipping and falling in as hundreds of onlookers groan. Rippy, his jumping life partner, looks on in shame, while Blestos screams scornful hatred.

Victory party!

Blestos and Doogie get all Michael Phelps up in here.

Post jump endorphins.

The Attack and 50's: now partners for life.

Mike Deuhs' crazy friends.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T08:47:00.002-06:00

Mike Deuhs celebrates the new year by falling into Lake Minnetonka in front of hundreds of onlookers, as Ripplechip and Blestos look on in amazement and shame. More news at 11.

Friend Feast 08'

2008-12-17T15:37:00.001-06:00

Friend Feast 2008 Commences on an unusually warm December evening. This year the party has moved from Shots Paul to our new house in South Minneapolis, seen here. The glowing red paper bags were not included in the lease.

Finn's first Christmas calls for a horrendously embarrasing outfit that he will hate seeing pictures of later in life.

Jeff's sweet outfit this year has a picture of two kids looking out a window at a star and says "Just Believe." We're uncertain if this means believing in Santa or Jesus. Either way, drinking Sparks during the holiday season is a wise decision.

I am rocking a handknit sweater vest with red turtleneck, green earrings and green shoes.

Chicks love babies.

Uncle Beak teaches Finn some crazy things.

We have a chalkboard in our new kitchen. Did you know this? You should. Jeff uses it to make a Thingz 2 B Thankful 4 List.

Doogs rocks the hand-painted 2nd Grade sweatshirt steez while Rippy sports the 1950s abusive father angle.

Finn and his Auntie Cam bust dance moves prior to dinner.

Beak wins the Spirit Award, as well as Best Costume on a Rap Producer Award second year running!

Friend Feast commences. 50's Dad has created an insane smorgasboard of delicious treats and sumptious meats all cooked on hot hot heats (the temperatute, not the Canadian dance-pop band).

Meat and cheese plate formed like a Christmas tree from Beak and Cam. Other sundry awesomeness from various sources.

Before (note the Yule Log channel on TV). Comcast On Demand, yeah yah!

After. 22 people in our living room!

Jeff must crawl like Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption to get seconds.

Backyard (aka The North Pole) Fires make the Johnsons jovial.

Mike Deuhs becomes Firemaster, and holds down the flame game.

For some reason, Mike Deuhs and JC decide that they should talk a lot about a fake radio station that they host the morning show for. Apparently their hosting duties involve a lot of knife comparisons.

Fire ash from MeBVamp.

3AM dirty snowmen, created by rolling up gradually larger snowballs using excess snow from the next-door vacant foreclosure property. Now THATs a Christmas tradition!

Yep.

The crew that ended the night. Beak proves that its difficult to look hard and hood while wearing a holiday-themed see-through holiday flag, but it can be done. You just have to want it.

Friend Feast 2008. Seacrest Out.

It is my BIRTHDAY!

2008-12-04T10:45:00.002-06:00

Matt made this for me. Thanks Matt. You should probably check out his blog

Hoppy Breathday! from Matt Scharenbroich on Vimeo.

Happy Hallo-springsteen-ween!

2008-10-31T20:05:00.001-05:00

Finn's First Halloween! He decides to go as "Born in the U.S.A."-era Bruce Springsteen, replete with pre-scuffed jeans, t-shirt with no sleeves, red baseball cap in the back pocket, and a Fender Telecaster made of felt and twine. This whole amazing outfit was put together by his Uncle 50's and Auntie D-Tans before he was born as part of a "Baby Boss Kit."

This is already in the running to be our most proudest moment as parents ever. His graduation from high school or his wedding will be cool and all, but this is something special.

Shredding licks and breaking hearts.

The real Bruce doesn't typically look this perplexed.

The Boss Kit in its full unabashed glory, including message to Finn about how to become The Baby Boss.

I made this pumpkin. It is Bernie Mac. RIP. Happy Ghost Day, dawgz.

You should probably know about this...

2008-10-31T15:04:00.005-05:00

My friendly friend 50's has a blog and you should probably check it out. It is super kew. www.younghunger.blogspot.com Here is a sampling of the awesomeness:

Hah!Pee!Barf!Dye! from Matt Scharenbroich on Vimeo.

Jeff's 27th Birthday recap coming soon.

Wam Bam Thank You Cam!

2008-10-08T20:53:00.006-05:00

Imagine that it's the end of August.

We take a Saturday night and go out to celebrate Cam's upcoming nuptialz to Lazerbeak. We try to steer away from the cliche gag gifts but a few can't be resisted, as seen in the above photo. Cam has to wear a donger shot cup around her neck and a "Bite-For-A-Buck" t-shirt that has Lifesavers sewn all over it. If you haven't seen this gag before I'm sure you can imagine what happens. Also, did I mention, we were escorted around all night in a limo, I've never been in one before... it was pretty amazing. If by amazing you mean expensive and drunken.

We go to the Vegas Lounge in Northeast. This asshole's name is Tim, whom we just meant. He pays for and eats all of the Lifesavers off Cam's shirt, asks Coles on on a date (seen here) and sticks his tongue in my ear. Gross.

Later in the night the limo takes us over to 50's house where we meet up with the boys who have been out a bachelor party with Beak. During Beak's night he was given a list of things he had to do in order to receive his epic "Lazerbeak" robe. The list included: Asking a girl for her phone number and then upon receivng the number tearing it up in front of her face, high fiving everyone in the bar, drinking alone in the corner of a bathroom while strangers came in and out, while peeing in a bathroom he had to yell "I piss blood" in the style of DMX, etc. He also had to endure a session of PowerShots which involved taking a shot of beer every 10 seconds for a full minute, which resulted in him puking outside of the Yacht Club and then coming back for more.

He also impregnated 12 women.

In anticipation of our friends' upcoming wedding, Matt, Jeff and I decided to make the next Aaron Mader Tribute Band EP as a gift in honor of them. I have embedded the single "Sexual Accounting" below.

Little known fact: Beak and Cam have an intense and irregular love of hot tubs, which iswhy it didn't seem like a dumb idea at all when JC proposed that everyone pitch in and buy Beak and Cam a hot tub for their wedding present. 50's made this awesome drawing to give to them along with the hot tub. Yes, that is Hall and Oates.

Fast forward, wedding day! No, not Liz's wedding day, Cam's. Here Liz shows us the proper way to wear a veil.

Here is the shot of everyone making funny weird faces on the camera guy's request. As if this ever wouldn't look forced.

The ceremony ruled and featured an ELO song. Here I am doing some post-wedding baby showing off. Beak and Cam have invited a lot of our friends from out of town to this wedding and we get to show Finn off to everyone. He's wearing a dope-ass tuxedo onesie and making weird faces.

Bob, Urs and Katrina check out the goods (i.e. Finn, our baby).

Throughout the night I tell McTubbins that he looks very dapper, and he does, agreed?

Bob wants to know what it's like to be me and Zach wants to know what it's like to be Jeff.

12 of us take a limo built for 6 on a very scenic route to the reception in Saint Paul. Leg cramps were involved.

Matt, Jeff and Beak cram in.

Liz sits on my lap.

My new photo pose, me always with my mouth wide open. Not sure why I keep thinking this is a good idea.

Jeff Allen's Best Man Speech from Alison Allen on Vimeo.

Left: Finn wears his first tuxedo and sleeps while the party rages around him.

Right: Grandma Julie changes Finn into his reception gear, a custom-made Lazerbeak onesie. Both Grandmas are invited to the wedding, which causes some baby turf war riots.

These guyses.

The Chicago/Iowa delegation.

The Detroit delegation.

Left: Maybe the craziest photo ever taken. It reminds of a senior photo that Beak once had where his lids are heavy and his eyes roll back into his head, it was pretty unbelievable and incredible.

Right: It's true, brides have to pee too.

Tres Generationos.

Young Lovers.

Old Lovers. Ripplechip makes his best dancing face, though Coles appears unimpressed.

Gay Lovers. Allen Brothers from different mothers.

When the tie becomes headwear you know you've had a good wedding. But we've already talked about this before.

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Wedding Dance Dance Revolution from Alison Allen on Vimeo

We supply the afterparty, and might I mention that it will be the last party ever to be had at our loft -- we move out into a house in Minneapolis 2 weeks after the wedding.

My dad is a hero and goes to buy us 3 more cases of beer, making the grand total 7 cases plus a cooler full of budweiser's that Greg hauls over later in the evening.

Mike Deuhs, Jeremy, Katie, JC and Rippy. How many people can you fit on your couch?

Cecil Ocho and Rhinosnacks prove the chair can hold at least 2.

Rory, MJ and LJ.

I know that I've been a parties in the past where all the beer has been drank and a few brave souls have gone through the wreckage to find sacred "half beers," but I've never been to a party where all the "half beers" are empty beers. I check every can and bottle in the pile and all 7 cases are completely empty.

Except for these 4 which I keep cold in the fridge. Secret. Shhh.

Jeff, same photo different year. A retired soldier. Honorably discharged from the party militia.

Kate, Mike, 50's (not pictured, and Greg end the party with me. All beers are empty, so we revert to Gin and Tequilla shots. Never a good idea.

Post-Script: Jeff and Aaron circa 1994.

More Things to Come

2008-09-26T09:31:00.002-05:00

Check this out, Ha.
We are horrible parents.

The Greatest Days of My Life

2008-09-18T09:42:00.005-05:00

So, I have a ton of photos, but limited time to blog now with this baby. This is what is currently happening in my life, not sleeping, learning how to operate a baby, attending the greatest wedding ever! (as seen below), and tomorrow we close on our condo and move back to MPLS! Greatest Day Ever for sure. Next blog I will be offering up some amazing photos, until then here are a few tidbits from the Beakandcam Nuptialz!

Finn totally is the only baby in the world with a Lazerbeak shirt.

Will Whitmore fuels the party vibez.

We called ourselves "The Badass Bridesmaids."

Babies, Dogs, Cabins, Tubes

2008-08-26T22:06:00.001-05:00

Finn is a bad ass. Did you know this? If not, please direct your attention to this skull and cross bones on his butt. Even when he's getting held by his Grandpa Tom, he maintains his street credibility.

He's also famous, check out this blurb that was written about him in the Strib.

Jeff and I drive down to Decorah, IA for a day trip to visit his grandparents and show them our awesome baby. On the way down, we discover rows upon rows of empty chairs in Chatfield, MN, set up in anticipation for a parade that had yet to occur. The streets were totally empty of people, but somehow the local Chair Cooperative had kicked things into high gear to put together this stunning display of empty lawn furniture.

Southern Minnesota landscapisms.

Great-Grandma Freda and Great-Grandpa Ted. As usual, our awesome baby totally charms them.

Finn's guitar shoes.

Fast forward a few days. This is the night that Jeff celebrate getting an offer on our condo! It hasn't sold yet, but that doesn't stop us from drinking some beers at our place late into the night while the babe crashes out. Here, Jeff shows us how to juggle two of the world's most precious resources.

*It should be noted that we had almost sold our condo weeks before Finn was born, we had even found an awesome house to move into in MPLS but the sale on our apartment fell through and our hearts were shattered for a little while. We're crossing our fingers this time.

Here's Finn meeting my Mom's dogs. They forge an uneasy but earnest friendship.

This is Finn's reaction to the dog, his first smile caught on camera.

Speaking of Finn and dogs, here is our awesome baby that same night hanging out with Nicole's dogs. Royal is ridiculously sweet to Finn, nuzzling him all night and never leaving his side. Hilarious and heartwarming.

Up next, Radio Dog the crazy chihuahua shows Finn some love. This officially concludes the Baby With Dogs section of the blog.

Fast forward, now we're up at 50's parents cabin! You may remember this magical place from such blogs as this one.

Jeff prepares with the SPF 50 -- no burns will be allowed here. This is also one of the last recorded images of this shirt, as it later met it's maker in the depths of Cross Lake in a freak shirt-flying-off-boat accident.

Yes.

Me and Danny Tanner, looking good. Did I mention that Finn was staying at Jeff's parents this night?

Daytime lake crews, totally basking in our tacky Midwestern recreationalism. Noodles and coozies.

Getting awesome.

More and more peeps arrive throughout the day, including MJ and Mindy seen here. Sunset pontoon rides.

Still can't believe I went 9 months without drinking a beer.

Jeff sparks it up.

LJ aka Liz Johnson poses with pontoon.

Across the lake from 50's parent's place this is gigantic house on the lake owned by none other than Twin Cities auto baron Denny Hecker, aka D-Hecks. This place seriously has like 100 boats on its docks.

Captain 50's mans the vessel. J-Rus, MJ and Marteen listen to Hall and Oates on the ship's bumpin' system.

Beak (did you notice he has a beard now?!?) opens up a bottle of bubbly while frightening onlookers cower in fear.

Much, much later.

The next morning. Coming off an evening of skinny dipping, hot tubbing, beer drinking, campfire having, friend communion, Beak awakes to find that someone has left him a fresh white robe in his room at the cabin. He takes advantage.

50's bakes us a ridiculous breakfast spread.

Jordan shows off his most recent inkage. Very nice, mang.

The crew heads out for some afternoon tubing. Nothing cures a hangover better than being thrown violently through the air and landing painfully in gasonline-saturated lake water.

Beak and Jeff have done a lot of things together, but this was the first time they've ever tubed the wild waters of Cross Lake.

It's Like Riding a Bike

2008-08-07T20:53:00.002-05:00

Alright, so I'm afraid I might be a little rusty at this blogging thing now. When I was preggs I never blogged; there was really nothing great to tell you. I was always sleeping, or I was awake and wishing I wasn't pregnant -- none of this makes good blogging material. I always knew that once I got my baby out that I would be back to my blog. So here goes nothing...

Finn was born on July 16th. He's proven to be a fairly amazing specimen. Totally chill, totally adorable, rarely cries, always funny. Here he is after a delicious meal of Enfamil formula.

I adventured out for the first time this last weekend when Finn was 2.5 weeks old. Saturday night Jeff and I drop the babe off at my folks house for his first over night. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as we drove out of the cul-de-sac, we were going out tonight! I was back. We head over to Colez house, and it's on.

I am in good company, Jeff is there and ready. He missed his drinking buddy.

Nicole also can't wait to have her friend back for a drink. I may be speaking for her, but I feel confident that this is a truism.

And I can't wait to have my friends back, Bud and Sparky.

50's and Danny Tanner show up to share in the success.

BTF is also there. Throughout my pregnancy BTF would tell me over and over again that when I was giving birth to the baby I would totally poop all over the hospital bed. She said it happened to everyone. And guess what: I totally did not poop. Looks like she lost the bet.

An honorary shot gun in honor of shotguns of the past.

This is too hot for Blestos to handle.

Look at all those beers. It is cool to be hanging out again.

We top the night off with a 1990's-era dance party. It's the only way we can start again. 50's plays his air drums along to some "Seether" by Veruca Salt.

Jeff rages along to some "Don't Speak" by No Doubt.

Next up, RATM: "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me"

What is Ice Spiders? Apparently Nicole has it on DVerD.

Old friends reunited.

I'm so happy, I've got my baby and I've got myself back. Yes.

Now for the good stuff, Finn photos.

This is when he was really young. Like two days old young.

He was yellow for awhile, on account of the jaundiceseseseseses. But he's tougher than a Boston street youth, and rallied to beat it.

He sleeps with his arms up like this. You can tell when he's really asleep by this gesture.

Baby hands

Finn Viral Video (FVV) numero uno - Beatboxin' Baby

Success!

2008-07-24T13:48:00.001-05:00

Born to Run

2008-07-21T14:51:00.001-05:00

He's here! Finally.

Finn Davis Allen was born July 16th at 6:23pm. He was 20.5 inches long (potential NBA star) and weighed in at 7lbs 14oz. In this photo he is a) sleeping and b) being totally awesome -- two things he is prone to.

Chubby cheeks and a hip-hop hat. We're told that he was born on Cecil Otter from Doomfield's birthday, which means that his hip-hop creditentials were already well established before he began sporting this urban look. Now it's for real.

We got to take the little guy home for a few days, but then he had to go back to the hospital to get treatment for jaundice, which included major sun-tanning while wearing wrap-around shades and having a neon blue light sit on his back. He's taking well to the treatment and should be back home soon.

P.S. I've had a few beers and it is AWESOME! You can't truly appreciate a beer until you've been through 9 months of pregnancy and 18 hours of labor. The rest of you think you know about how good beer is, but you really don't.

You know it's hard out here for a Preggs!

2008-06-21T11:33:00.002-05:00

This is what 8/9ths of a baby looks like.

Count down to beers: 32 days!

I'm not Dead

2008-04-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

Just so you know I'm not dead. I have been a bad blogger though.

I have things to tell you about, I just haven't had time to share them. I still have not updated photos from our Friend Feast in December, or when Waff, Rippy and Mike Deuhs all jumped into Lake Minnetonka on January 1st, or when we did a few things,or when Jeff and I went on a FREE trip to Cancun (details coming later) or when we found out we are going to have a boy baby, or when we packed up our house and put it on the market, or how life is being knocked up. And soon I will have to tell you about the last for a long time, TPC throwdown at First Ave coming up on April 19th which will include some sort of amazing friend soaked after-party. So I have lots to say I just haven't had time to do it. Except a huge update sometime in the near future.

This is all.

BABIES = NO BEERS

2008-01-02T18:30:00.000-06:00

So...yep. It's true.

Jeff and I found out about two months ago that we're having a little kid in July.

Totes mindblowing, dudes! That's the little guy or gal up there, the little grey blob bean pea pod thing that the ultrasound technician was kind enough to label "baby" for us. Although unexpected, we've gotten used to the idea and are pretty amped to welcome the crazy thing into the world.

So, obviously a lot has changed in the last two months (i.e. no beers), but I've still been trying to hang out at all the parties. And I've got some sweet photos from all the crazy happenings, I just haven't had the energy to put 'em on the internets yet. My life currently consists of lots and lots of sleeping.

According to the books I should be having some more energy in the next few weeks and I'll put up all the photos of the sweet shit that's been going down. In the meantime, send me some baby name suggestions. We're toying with the idea of Jesus Allah God Buddah Allen.

Long Live Happiness!

2007-11-07T20:41:00.001-06:00

Let's start regal. It's a Thursday night and Jeff and I go to see The Hold Steady (aka "The Steady") at the State Theatre. Normally, The Steady brings the pain at First Ave. when they roll through the Deuce Cities, but this time they go the traditionalist route. Think 2,000 seats (yes, seats), crazy architectural flourishes, the whole nine.

Despite the admittedly weird club environment (no booze service after the second band?!?!), The Steady hold things relatively steady. That's code for "sweet show."

Okay. Holy shit. The next night, through a divine act of God or some other spiritual intervention, Jeff and I manage to score front row tickets to Bruce Springsteen. @#!#!@!#!@!#. The real story of how we ended up in this lucky position at the last minute is too complicated and amazing to describe in full detail on the internets.

Bruce is Jeff's favorite recording artist of all time and a close second for me (Bob Dylan always wins that race), so we are beyond excited. Although, after this night it may be Bruce for me too.

The show was absolutely top notch awesome rad sweet. Even at 58, Bruce and the E-Streeters put most bands on the planet to shame. These concert photos are courtesy of the Pioneer Press, cause the Xcel Center doesn't allow photography -- gay but true.

When he's not being executed for crimes against his former people, Saddam Hussein is the lead guitarist in the E-Street Band. True story: 50's and Danielle were part of the backstage catering crew for this show and totally stood, like, 10 feet from Lil' Steve.

Also learned: Max Weinberg looks "totally fit and healthy" in real life, Clarence Clemmons' dressing room is called "The Temple of Soul" and must be addressed as such, Nils Lofgren is "very nice" and rides an exercise bike before shows, oh and Clarence also eats three lobster tails and $175 of caviar after every show. Thanks for the inside scoop, 50's Dad.

Bruce and that one super short dude who plays slide guitar sometimes. Bruce blazes for 2.5 hours straight, sets the place on fire and places Thunder Road during the encore. Celebrities seen: Ron Coomer, Paul Molitor, Dan Wilson. Oh, and that one drummer guy from Conan. Max Weinbaum.

Holy shit! The intensity continues. 50's manages to snag Bruce's setlist from the garbage can while cleaning up at the end of the night! We scan it so that the internet can see it for all eternity. Big ups to 50's!

After the show, Craig and Angie (in town for the night from worlds far away) come by for some post-show record listening, brews, smokes and Bruce appreciation.

Jeff makes some important points about our new theory for modern music: the best music is from a new separate genre called "Inclusion Rock." Bruce is at the forefront of this movement, we decide.

I second this notion.

Inclusion rock is an emotional roller coaster. Craig has actually gotten the chance to meet and talk with Bruce earlier in the night, face to face. Needless to say, this is a huge moment and we're all on a life high just thinking about it.

Brucisms are Truisms.

After those dudes leave, the Vaders stop by at like, 2AM. We stay till 5 with them, listening to Bruce and filling them in on the particulars of "Inclusion Rock" while Heidi Vader fills us in on how she was at the video shoot for Dancing in the Dark back in the 80s. At 5AM, we walk down the street to Mickey's for breakfast and good conversation with our speed-addled waitress.

Bruce fans unite.

Fast forward to the next night. Not much can top the life-affirming joys of the previous night, but we're gonna try. We head over to So. Mpls for a night with Beak, Cam, 50's and the whole crew. Dinner at Buster's, with much serious talk about taking a friend trip to Spain and/or Portugal.

After dinner is when the drunken firepit crazyness begins. Booze, brews, cigs, friends, and three carloads of recently-ripped down cedar planks from LJ and MJ's new house make for more life-affirming moments of communion.

Not a lot of proper fire safety is being practiced on this night. Unflattened boxes are being thrown on at will, and we're all inhaling huge amounts of glue fumes as the adhesive on the back of these cedar planks burn into the black night sky. We invision our lifeless bodies being found in the morning by JC, slumped in our chairs with warm beers in hand.

Case in point. Shit is getting out of hand and Beak is not prepared.

50's attempts to keep things in control.

Raising our drinks and our hopes.

It's at this point (say about, 1AM) that 50's and I realize that a slow exposure makes fires look totes crazed. We start to experiment. We see a blazing dragon.

Jeff is thwarted by an ancient fire beast. Just another night in southside.

Beak fights back with some dragonbeast flame throwing of his own. Getting totally midevil in this piece.

I have harnessed the power of the fire, and now control it with the wisdom of a wizard and the precision of a really precise thing.

Cam is helpless to defend herself.

50's is relatively bored with the dragonfire process and yawns out his own fireball.

You get the idea.

Really, this was hilarious at the time. I swear.

J.C. adds a Chicago flair to the proceedings.

Our fire safety gets progressively worse, wtih dried leaves from the yard and recently-cashed Corona cases entering the fray. Also, we are very very drunk. The night ends predictably, with Jeff and I passing out in Beak and Cam's spare room around 6AM. Not much sleep this weekend.

Home improvements! More to come soon. Just know that this is not a prison cell. That would be really easy to break out of, cause it's wood, dudes.

Belated Birthday Blog

2007-10-22T16:36:00.001-05:00

So Jeff is turning 26, which is like crazy old, so we throw him a rager at our house to celebrate. I make this sweet cake that lets him know that his best days are obviously behind him.

Pre-party, getting amped with Nami.

Mike Deuhs, my brother and (according to all women) the hottest dude ever, shows up early to get things started.

Beak has brought Jeff some Walgreen's cigars which are accompanied by some 12 year old Glenlivet scotch. When midnight strikes they begin celebrating the occasion. Waff smokes himself a nice bushy grey mustache.

Danny Tanner and Jaws Dawg are in the house.

Gay.

Ninja cakes.

Jeff's mom made a huge spread of crazy snacks for people.

The two best cards. The cat on the right is doing milk shots.

So, this is hard to explain but I'll try. Cam is wasted, this should be obvious. At some point, people started taking photos of her which greatly angered her for some reason. In a flash of drunken brilliance, she stormed into the bathroom and decided to write "fuck off" on her face, believing that this would force people to stop taking photos of her. That's weird enough on its own, but she managed to write it backwards because she was applying the sharpie ink in a mirror. Those of us in attendance could truly not believe what we were experiencing. This really happened. Greatest Cam moment in the history of all time, officially.

Here she is, pissed that people are laughing at her. Phenomenal!

Cakes and cigs and pipe accidents.

In case you were wondering it is possible to shot-gun keg beer. Our version is to just drink it really fast from a straw.

McTubbins shows up! Better late than never, buddy. Your face is crazed, though.

Mike Deuhs and Cam are too far ahead of everyone else in partying, if you know what I mean.

50's and Ripplechip discuss world politics.

Caylie made this really crazy cake that's sposed to look like Jeff, but it doesn't really. That's okay though. What it lacks in perfection it makes up for in heart.

It is at this point in the night that everyone decides that doing shots of 12-year old scotch is a really good idea. What a colossal waste of money, but it was awesome.

J-Russius is getting real.

A second round? Even smarter than the first time you thought of it.

Salutations.

Crystal (aka CQ aka QC aka Quality Control aka North Metro) washes down the scotch.

MJ (aka Matt Johnson) is in the house.

My brother is out. He gets sunglassed.

Yep, absolutely.

Sure, man.

Party coordination is hard. Should I smoke or drink? How about both at the same time.

Iceberg, no doubt.

MegDog samples the fine tastings of a flask. These guys will be spending their anniversary with Jeff on his birthday year after year.

Caylie and J.C. try to comprehend what is happening around them.

Beak and Adam have already given up on ever understanding anything.

So Gay So many ways.

Colezones is a member of the Fantastic Four tonight.

Fast forward to the next morning, about 7 or 10 people sleepover on our floor. We try to give them air mattresses to combat the hardness of our concrete floors but they lose air throughout the night. Adam compares his sleeping experience to being gassed in a concentration camp during WWII Germany.

Just for the record there was some things that happened during Nicole's super-hero picture and this picture of our lair.Here is a list of things that may or may not have happened.
Gin Shots
Secret puking sessions
Crazed running around in the rain
Pizza parties
50's new nickname "pizza leg"
Group sleepover which included watching "the office" while fading out.

50's is not ready yet.

Neither am I.

But hey, look at this asshole. Rise and shine, ready to face the day!

Weddings Galore! Shit Yeah.

2007-09-21T10:19:00.000-05:00

Before we dive in to the present, let's head back to the past. These are some photos that I got sent from the Chicago wedding two weeks ago. Totes awes.

The Dream Team.

HSCO in the house!

Another weekend, another wedding. 50's, Danny Tanner, Beak, Cam, Jeff and myself all pile into 50's Parents' Chevy Suburban and head off to Detroit for our friends Ryan and Angela's wedding.

This Suburban comes fully equipped with DVD player and wireless headphones. Jeff and I dive straight into some Sopranos and the time flies by.

We are accompanied by some beautiful midwestern fall landscapes. Totes awes.

Wisconsin sunsets. 12 hours after our adventure begins, at apprx 4AM EST we arrive in Detroit and are taken aback instantly by the hollowed-out bomb sheltered corpse grime steeze of D-Town. We shell out $40 bucks to park for 30 hours and head straight to our hotel room, where we heroically take down a case of beer in an hour and a half. Needless to say we sleep soundly.

Fast forward to the next afternoon, where we meet up with the wedding party around 2:00pm and head over to the reception site on a tiny bus. The bus may be tiny, but it is fully equipped with champange, party lazers (as if there is any other kind of lazers), and a driver named Gary who is unfortunately missing his sense of direction.

The wedding is totally outside in front of a sweet fountain featuring lions, weird babies, fish and turtles, all of whom are shooting water out of their mouths like they're continuously projectile-vomiting. Totes weird but awesome at the same time.

This is the fastest wedding I've ever been too. Short and sweet, 10 minutes would be a generous estimate.

The road weary family.

Cam suggests we get into some Glenlivet, I'm down by default, I have a cold. Two fingers please. Thank you good sirs, or madam.

50's checks out some boobs, Danielle is insulted. Watch out dude, she might law suit you.

Beak tries to tell Cam some things in the background.

Beers and Cocktails a plenty. Open bar again! Thank you, I just might have another.

One of the strangest photos, compositionally, this blog has ever seen. I'm sorry Ryan or Angela if this may or may not be your grandpa way in the background, but this guy loves getting wasted and harassing the bartender. I saw him go behind the bar and get his own drink about a million times. He wins for being the most wasted at your wedding.

FYI, Party Phil mugs in the foreground.

Sun smiles.

Everything is free!

Even the food.

The "new" Allens have a analog blog and they want us to leave them a note, for their rememberances. We oblige.

The Groom is also a DJ and that wall is also a sonogram. Do you see the baby in there?

Detroit never looked so beautiful. Seriously. It normally looks like a hobo shantywon.

All jokes aside, this building which used to be a casino is where the reception was held, totally beautiful and full of granite and marble.

First dances and last chances.

It's still early yet, so no one's quite at the break-through point for drunkenness. So we try to pretend what it will be like when we finally have pushed through to the promised land.

Now it's time for the dance party and we're all feeling ready. 50's and Cam are feeling it.

Let me introduce you to my new friend the The Durgler. Beware, you might get Durglarized™, Believe that!

Glasses rule this party.

Dancing also rules.

Mike from New York and his lady friend. In about 2 hours these guys will end up making out in the party bus while grossing out everyone around them. There should be a warning for dirty dancing.

No tie, tie. Very essential for dance floor getting downs.

Meg Durglar. Oh no, un uh.

If she said we partied, them I'm pretty sure we partied...

This girl has huge boobers.

This girl has lost her folks.

These folks have lost their minds.

So my friend The Durgler™ decides I need a new nickname that sticks. For the first time ever may I introduce myself as Flasky, later known as Flatchy for obvious reasons.

Getting Durglarized usually means hearing some sweet freestylez. "Yo, wake up and check my inbox at gmail.com/got a note from my dead mom"

Our bartender, a gracious host, and Waff Allen's new best friend.

FFlash forward about 1.75 hours. We go back to the hotel bar and have a hotel party!! Just like R Kelly once said. There are some weird characters in here, but that's okay because the wedding party pretty much takes up the whole room.

The Durgan's show up ready and ragin'.

The Beautiful Bride

And... The Hansome Groom.

The Greatest man ever, Brad Allen, the grooms father is totally down. He's only had 4 Vicodin's and about 7 Rum Drinks. Who's Ready? We're Ready!

So Sultry.

In Chicago they have Old Style "Cubby cans." In Detroit they have Budweiser aluminum "Tiger bottles."

Beak takes everyone in the bar on for some good old fashioned arm wrestling.

Beak is a killer.

Success!

An Engagement, A Wedding & A Birthday

2007-09-10T16:58:00.000-05:00

Where do I begin? So much to talk about, so little time.

We'll start with Caylie getting an awesome new kitten! Totally cute cats rule. She brings it over to Beak and Cam's backyard rager the same night she gets it. Beak and Cam are having a fire in their new plastic/bronze (the material is debatable according to some) fire pit and the cat is down. She parties all night.

The new kitten fits perfectly in Jeff's hole and melts right into his heart. We try and think of names. We come up with some sweet ones, but Caylie decides on Cous Cous. I suggest Minute Rice, Jeff suggests Uncle Ben's. She's not having any of it.

The party crew is ready. There's no shortage of wood around these parts. That's what she said.

JC looks completely crazed here.

50's shows off his newly sliced finger. He accidentally cut it to the bone with a chop saw, requiring 6 stiches at a St. Cloud Hospital - they charge him $25 for a bandage. Totes not cool.

Fast Forward to the next day -- check out the rock! Beak and Cam get engaged! He pops the question to Cam Sunday afternoon after having Bloody Marys down at Gabby's on the River. She of couse says yes and the couple invites us all over for Goldschlager shots and Champagne to celebrate. I am stoked to say the least.

Beak will be asking Tony Dungy to be the best man. Because of his Quiet Strength, of course.

Ring Shots.

Yes!

Champagne drinks. Yes. Yes!

Fastforward again. Friday night - Jeff, Aaron, Matt, Cam and myself head to Chicago to celebrate the wedding of our good friends Bob and Urs! We get into town a night before the wedding but barely make it in time for bar close. We belly up and have whiskey shots and pbr's. So far so good.

We head over to Joel's house. I guess he has a moustache this night but I don't remember it. These guys love playing dice games and betting dollar bills.

We find a little bit of tape and make a weak attempt at beer sabers.

Jeff breaks a chair and we think it's really funny. He insists that he didn't break the chair and that it was broken when he got there.

Me and Cam saber away in the corner.

Next Morning, Wedding Day. We head over to the wedding site, Logan Square Auditorium, which is an old concert venue in Chicago. It's the perfect place to have a wedding. The decorations are just like the set of a Wes Anderson movie.

Kisses and Confetti, the Beach Boys "Wouldn't it Be Nice" blares to the cheering masses. Full disclousure: this photo was taken by a quasi-asshole from New York named Ian.

So this is us dressed up, minus me. We are looking sharp. Oh, did I mention this party comes with a unlimted supply of beers, booze, champagne, shots, and it's all free. Photo shots begin to get blurry starting now.

Choclate wedding cakes with chocolate brides and grooms.

Ian is serious, serious about getting wasted.

Bride champagne slammer-bammers.

There are a few things that can measure the success of a wedding. At the top of this list is when dudes start putting ties around their heads and dancing the can-can. When this happens you know that the night is a success without a doubt.

Beak's utterly confused by the dance.

We look awesome. Champagne stained dresses and shirts.

Wedding cake with pink flowers.

These guys just got married in a gay way.

What is going on with Beaks face? Unreal.

50's applies pink flowers to my eyeball.

Post-wedding train rides back to Joel's.

Cam gets her hand caught in a bear trap that was hiding in her purse. Joel laughs because he was the one who set the trap.

Sure, sure, absolutely.

Beak whispers sweet nothings. It is safe to say that everyone is feeling a little fuzzy. The rest of that night is a blur. We head home the next day, having fallen further in love with Chicago.

Now things are getting current. This was Saturday, as in just a few days ago. Jeff's real brother Erik is in town with his girlfriend Jen and they're hanging out with their friends at a bar, we join them. BTW we're drinking beer out of malt glasses, not really my style. It freaks me out.

We hang out at that other bar for awhile and then head over to the Yacht Club for Ripplechip's birthday. He just spent the past few days in Las Vegas with Colez celebrating. Now he's at the YC celebrating with us, and let me tell you he is seriously soaked.

BTF and Jaws are there hanging out too!

Blestos joins the party with his new motorcycle jacket. It goes perfectly with his new motorcycle. He's a tough guy now so watch out.

This is the look of a wasted man.

Choke holds.

Erik is cold so Jeff gives him his sweatshirt. Brotherly love.

Erik wants to wear the sunglasses.

Jen does too, you guys are looking good. So that's all for now. Stay tuned as the following things lay ahead: a wedding in Detroit, a possible cabin weekend in Northern Minnesota and Jeff's birthday rager.