Win, Lose or Draw

Thursday night, Jeff and I walk down to Rice Park in Saint Paul to see the lights. Way to go Saint Paul!

 

This is what outer-space looks like. Similar to a Christmas tree in Downtown St. Paul.

 

The next day is Jeff's office party, free dinner and drinks bitchez at a downtown Mpls steak place. Jeff and I go to Pizza Luce prior to the party for pre-party libations and as a result show up buzzed and ready to socialize in a spirited fashion. This is not always a good thing when you're trying to play it cool with your boss.

 

The bill. Yes that's $2805.88. Holy Shit!

 

Afterwards we decide to go to a kegger in Highland Park with Jeff's co-worker Greg. I take a photo of this wallpaper in the bathroom of the party apartment.

 

The thing about this party is.... there's plenty of wrinkles if you know what I mean. We're hanging out with old people. As in like, 35 and older. In their wise age they have bought a keg of Summit. We chat it up with our new party friends and hear stories about their kids and jobs.

 

This guy on the left spots me across the room and takes a seat next to me. In the most sincere voice possible he says: "Hey, you've got a camera lemme ask you something. Do you think I can be a model?" I am stunned. He goes on to explain that since I have a camera I should know whether or not he should be a model. I politey let him down and try my best to slither out of the situation. Yikes.

Hoes and Bros old style. We dip out and head to Costello's for a night cap.

 

Yes, we are crazy. On Saturday morning, Jeff and I decide to brave the masses and head out to the MOA (Mall of America) to gather the last of our Christmas gifts. Jeff poses in front of theme park formerly known as Camp Snoopy, now known as The Park at MOA. The Charles Schultz estate apparently had a high asking price for the name.

 

Binoculars for a better view of the park.

 

As Paul McCartney once said: Simply having a wonderful christmastime, The party's on, the feelin's here that only comes this time of year.

Side note, Paul McCartney officially wrote the worst song in history.

 

We stop for lunch in the food court, Jeff has a veggie burger from Burger King and I get a Stuffed Enchilada Burrito from Taco Bell. It reminds us of high school lunch hour, skipping out to go to Ridgedale in Minnetonka for Cinnabon and Taco Bell.

 

Chaos ensues at the MOA rotunda area, and we go to find what all the commotion is about. All American Rejects (aka All American Retards) are doing a record signing. There is something distrubing about a band of 30-something males who write music that is exclusively listened to by 15 year old girls. Totes NC (not cool).

 

Later that night. December is full of birthdays and today it's Danielle's birthday. We go to her house to celebrate. Pictured here is a piece of baked brie from 50's, just what every birthday party needs.

 

Danielle and 50's have the greatest party idea ever and decide to host a drawing contest. They put phrases on construction paper and everyone has to draw what they see. See below for results.

 

Cyclops, author unknown

 

Blue Whale Robot, from Colezones

 

Bully, from Colezones

 

Big Things, from Jeff (notice Jupiter doing a bong hit)

 

Minnesota, from Jeff

 

Wisconsin, from Jeff

 

Slash, from Colezones (notice that he's playing a VW car for an amp)

 

Lazerbeak, from 50's

 

Water Wings, from Jules

 

Destruction, author unknown

 

Lost, from McTubbins (notice that is the best drawing form)

 

Pagoda, from Danielle

 

Stupid, from Doogs (notice that it looks like this guy has a huge boner from his Segue)

 

Stevie Wonder, from Ripplechip

 

Opposites, from Doogs (Jesus fighting a Ninja Turtle)

 

A young 50's Dad guarding a Lemon Meraunge Cake

 

An old 50's Dad guarding a glass of whiskey

 

Let me introduce you to the new McTubbins. Gone are the hexagon glasses and dirty beard. Arrived are the chiseled features and boyish South Dakota charm. Way to go broseph.

 

Nicole makes a funny smile and allows me to blog about it, so I do.

 

The thing about having you birthday in December is that sometimes people buy you Christmas type gifts. This happened to Danielle, someone got her this christmas tree made of minerals or some shit. Her and 50's watch it with curiousity.

 

Adam's at the party and he's in fine form. More news coming soon.

 

Luke Kyle is there and seems to be somewhat surly.

 

50's, Adam, Jeff, Danielle and myself are the leftover friends of the party. We sit by the fire and hear stories about Adam's future wife. He's decided he will marry someone with "Purple Nurples" and who's down for being fucked 400 times in 1 hour. Hilarious.

 

I take a photo when I make it to 5am! We stay up til' 6:30, Jeff and I sleep over.

 

Hamming it up.

 

Next morning, we survey the damage. Today is Danielle's real birthday.

 

We celebrate by going out to breakfast. We are now all 25 years old, except for Beak, but he doesn't really count.

 

Danielle, 50's and I induldge in a meal called the "Heart Stopper" which consists of 3 eggs, 4 peices of bacon/sausage, toast and hashbrowns. Jeff decides on a much healthier Tofu scrambler. What a gay.

 

Clean plate club. I did it for you Danielle, on your birthday!

 

We decide to celebrate the day by taking a Saint Paul adventure tour. We start by going to the Wabasha Street Caves, which are unfortunately closed.

 

We then head over to the very dinky Saint Paul airport in the back of 50's work van. I guess they don't have flights on Sundays.

 

Danielle has a supply of wings in her van, I can't resist trying one on.

 

Next stop Dayton's Bluff, where we look out over the land that is Saint Paul. Used to be an ancient Native American burial ground, FYI.

 

Saint Paul Grafitti.

 

We're hanging out at a place caled "Carver's Cave."

 

We start to explore and find this stroller in the tall grass. Some baby got totally thrown off a cliff.

 

A collection of sports magazines from the mid 90's. Carver's Cave is starting to seem like a place where people go to die.

 

We find a note from a guy who's in prison.

It reads: Chris, It's me Bro just chillin' Bro. I don't for got about you Bro. Staying in E house St. Cloud. I don't have a hollat to say so rit back, tell jemmy to rit to me. Garls B.

 

The envelope.

 

We also find some sort of legal document from a guy who's lost his driver's permit. Maybe the same guy from prison.

 

We start exploring. Down the bluffs, we take a trip through this hole. This place is awesome.

 

50's is the leader of our trek.

 

Here he is crawling through a small cave.

 

Danielle reenacts her birth. This is her coming out of the vag.

 

"Waff Hearts Scoops"

 

People etched their hands into the soft sandstone. Totes sweet.

 

Jeff nicknames Danielle "Danny Tanner" and sets it in stone along with her birthdate.

 

M + D = 4EVA

 

We continue our exploring and head into the grime steeze that is East Saint Paul.

 

Jeff is sure we just entered a portal into Pittsburgh.

 

Later I wrap presents, very expertly I might add. Eat that Nicole, yeah I'm talking to you, let the present wrapping competition begin!

 

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The following are photos from last week's Friend Feast by guest blogger Brian Lesteberg (aka Blestos)