Aqua, Seafoam, Shame - Yeah, I did just say that.

Alright, okay. Prepare yourself. Above is a video that Isaac (aka Iceberg) and Jeff (aka Waff) made for a high school video project. It's a half-hour movie filled with 6 music videos set to the Lifter Puller's "Entertainment and Arts" EP. Due to the size of the movie I had to section it into 4 parts. The video features much of the old crew back in the high school days (circa 1999) when were all gorgeous, muscular, tanned, spriteful and ready to take on the world in our own awkward and ill-informed ways. My apologies in advance if this blows your mind.

 

Part 2

 

Part 3

 

Part 4

 

Memorial Day, 2007. We memorialize those who have fallen by watching the shit out of a Twins game at the metrodome. Jeff, Caylie, Coles and I head down to check out the action in full Twins gear styles.

 

Jeff "sneaks" in some new multi-colored twizzlers. It becomes obvious that these flavorful straws would make great beer accompaniments.

 

These two old guys are such wanna-be umpires. It's not even funny.

 

If you haven't already noticed Caylie is into to demonstrating some awesome new weird facial morphisms.

 

For realz, her face looks crazy.

After the game, we retardledly decide to walk a few blocks down to Sgt. Prestons, a lame frat-boy sports bar. This proves to be a near-fatal error as we proceed to enter the unforeseen realms of the Fishbowl Graveyard. Let me explain.

 

Do you know how when you start getting drunk and you can easily convince yourself that something is a good idea even when it's really not... well that's why it's called the fishbowl graveyard. I almost died. Definitely not a good idea.

 

 

 

After we make it halfway through the first fish bowl the waitress stops by with a "mess up" fishbowl. My preference is the pink fishbowl, Nicole works on the purple bowl.

 

Things are starting to get too real.

 

 

Fast forward a few days. Beak, Caylie and I are going bowling with our friend Leonard. He's 80 plus years old, recently-widowed, and absolutely LOVES coming into the Green Mill while we're all working to chat. We've been promising to go bowling with him for months and today is finally the day. Beak prepares to dominate the competition by placing a magical kiss on his balls. Oh snap!

 

Turns out Leonard is an amazing bowler, he scores a 183. Nice work.

 

Leonard has been saving up his Stove Top Stuffing "free bowling" coupons for a few months and is able to treat us to a game. We of course have to rent our own shoes.

Fast forward to Friday. 50's comes over for some piano loop recording mischievity. TPC has decided that pianos are cool and that chopped up loops of pianos are even cooler. I am drinking beers and watching from the window sill.

 

If you open up the top of a piano you get a better sound, or so they say...

 

When you're recording a song that's meant for screwing and chopping you use pots and pans instead of real drums. It sounds much cooler.

 

After laying down some initial hot tracks, we bike up some massive hills to the Saint Paul Cathedral. On this night, they're totes celebrating the shit out of being 100 years old by having fireworks, ice cream and magicians or some shit. We take advantage.

 

There's an ice cream social and Kemp's is sponsoring it with their "Twin Cities Fudge" ice cream. Guess what???? The chocolates are little Minnesota shapes with T.C.'s in the middle. Heartwarming.

 

It's just about to start raining and the clouds are crazy looking. We sit close to the church and manage to stay out of the rain.

 

Alright it's dark and time for fireworks. I have to say these are the coolest and longest fireworks I have ever seen! Not only that, they are being shot off from across the street so they're really huge and close to us. Super awesome.

 

These fireworks are some end of the world type shit. Check it out, the trees are exploding colors. That bus is about to die. The Saint Paul Basin rumbles and echo's like we're at war.

 

 

 

 

The next night, its another Beak and Cam porch drinkin' party. It's summertime so you know what that means: JayToTheEff pretending he has huge muscles by rolling up his t-shirt sleeves.

 

Jordan stops over to show us his 24oz Budweiser Twins can. Sweetness.

 

Tubbz becomez a string puppet.

 

Beak plays with dolls.

 

A few nights later, it's my mom's birthday! We're at a sweet Greek restaurant, definitely not Christos but that other one, you know, the good one. The gal on the left is totally BTF's little sister and she is dating my brother. This makes Jeff and I excited cause it means that maybe someday we could be related to BTF and Blestots. Who knows?

 

I make a layered chocolate birthday cake. My dad says it's the best he's ever had.

 

Jeff is in charge of the Birthday card.

 

Fast forward to Saturday night. We are partaking in the first ever Southside Bike Gang Bar Crawl. This involves a crew of dawgs riding bike all around south minneapolis and drinking at as many new and previously-unexplored bars as possible. We start at the Bulldog. An old favorite but a good place to get things percolating.

 

50's shows up and is dedicated to the cause, even though he has to be up at 5am for work.

 

Next stop Casey's on 34th and Nicollet. We've always wondered what this place is all about and decide to give it a try. We walk in and a regular shakes his head in disgust. I guess this bars for regulars only. I understand though. We order a $5 pitcher of P.B.R. and head out side.

 

Tubbs is sporting new wayfarer sunglasses. Jeff starts calling him "risky business". Just like Tom Cruise in that one movie. Oh yeah.

 

Funny jokes are being told.

Next stop on the bike tour. North-metro's (aka Crystal's) back yard for some brews and tetherball action. Waff and Tubbs flail their arms like little girls.

 

 

I'm sporting my hyperlush bike gang bandanna.

 

Thumbs up, these are some fun times.

 

50's approves as well.

 

No we're getting into the southeast side of the city. We head 30 blocks over to Beaks neck of the woods to hang out at the Cedar Inn. This is a weird Nascar/Motorcycle fanatatic pizza/beer joint. We steer clear of what's happening on the inside and set up shop on the patio.

 

We meet up with Beak and Cam. Cam lets us know about her afternoon... Her and Beak tried going on a canoe trip at Lake Calhoun and tipped the boat within five minutes. Funny shit. Apparently Beak loses his mind when he hits the water .

 

We head North towards Lake Street and stop in at a bar called Schooners. Free popcorn and $10 pitchers of PBR. Not the best deal in town, but we don't mind. We hang out inside for a little while and listen to the bar band. Singing drummers are always cool.

 

McTubbins poses.

 

I pose.

 

McTubbins flips.

 

We head back over to Crystals for some post bar crawl backyard fires and late night tetherball. On the way we find a snow pile outside a local ice factory. We can't resist snowballs.

 

Girls vs. Boys.

 

 

The bike gang family photo, sans yours truly.

 

\
Backyard parties with fires.

 

Blestos and Julie join the party. Blestos plays tetherball and hits the ball so hard that he breaks the rope and the ball goes flying. So funny, so many ways.

 

There's a CD player that only plays tapes, weird right? Or maybe it plays CD's but McTubbins only has one tape and no CD's. Jeff and Tubbs get into some air-guitar-style Nirvana Unplugged tracks. Jeff prompts "Can you say anything else" McTubbins replies "What else can I say" Jeff asks "Who do you think is gay?" Tubbs replies "Everyone is Gay."

 

The next day is the annual Green Mill softball tournament! A bunch of unathletic and hung-over service industry workers get together to broil and flail awkwardly in the punishing afternoon sun. Here, Caylie prepares for battle.

 

Todd, the Green Mill delivery driver shown here, is one of the key organizers for the event. He proudly struts around the field in a "no-shirt-brother" kind of a style with his trumpet. Totes weird, I know.

 

Some of Todd's musician friends are participating in the game. They start things off with Mexico's National Anthem.

 

Ladies and Gentleman please rise for the National Anthem.

 

Bottom of the first and my guy Morgan takes a ball to the chin. I'm not a key member of the team so I volunteer to take him to a hospital to get stitches and that's where I spend my afternoon.

FYI, Jeff and I are leaving for Dublin, Edinburgh, and London on Wednesday. Make sure to stop back as I will try and update the blog every couple of days.

Peacisms.