Sep 21, 2007

Weddings Galore! Shit Yeah.

Before we dive in to the present, let's head back to the past. These are some photos that I got sent from the Chicago wedding two weeks ago. Totes awes.


The Dream Team.


HSCO in the house!


Another weekend, another wedding. 50's, Danny Tanner, Beak, Cam, Jeff and myself all pile into 50's Parents' Chevy Suburban and head off to Detroit for our friends Ryan and Angela's wedding.


This Suburban comes fully equipped with DVD player and wireless headphones. Jeff and I dive straight into some Sopranos and the time flies by.

We are accompanied by some beautiful midwestern fall landscapes. Totes awes.



Wisconsin sunsets. 12 hours after our adventure begins, at apprx 4AM EST we arrive in Detroit and are taken aback instantly by the hollowed-out bomb sheltered corpse grime steeze of D-Town. We shell out $40 bucks to park for 30 hours and head straight to our hotel room, where we heroically take down a case of beer in an hour and a half. Needless to say we sleep soundly.


Fast forward to the next afternoon, where we meet up with the wedding party around 2:00pm and head over to the reception site on a tiny bus. The bus may be tiny, but it is fully equipped with champange, party lazers (as if there is any other kind of lazers), and a driver named Gary who is unfortunately missing his sense of direction.


The wedding is totally outside in front of a sweet fountain featuring lions, weird babies, fish and turtles, all of whom are shooting water out of their mouths like they're continuously projectile-vomiting. Totes weird but awesome at the same time.

This is the fastest wedding I've ever been too. Short and sweet, 10 minutes would be a generous estimate.


The road weary family.


Cam suggests we get into some Glenlivet, I'm down by default, I have a cold. Two fingers please. Thank you good sirs, or madam.


50's checks out some boobs, Danielle is insulted. Watch out dude, she might law suit you.

Beak tries to tell Cam some things in the background.



Beers and Cocktails a plenty. Open bar again! Thank you, I just might have another.


One of the strangest photos, compositionally, this blog has ever seen. I'm sorry Ryan or Angela if this may or may not be your grandpa way in the background, but this guy loves getting wasted and harassing the bartender. I saw him go behind the bar and get his own drink about a million times. He wins for being the most wasted at your wedding.

FYI, Party Phil mugs in the foreground.

Sun smiles.


Everything is free!


Even the food.


The "new" Allens have a analog blog and they want us to leave them a note, for their rememberances. We oblige.

The Groom is also a DJ and that wall is also a sonogram. Do you see the baby in there?


Detroit never looked so beautiful. Seriously. It normally looks like a hobo shantywon.


All jokes aside, this building which used to be a casino is where the reception was held, totally beautiful and full of granite and marble.

First dances and last chances.


It's still early yet, so no one's quite at the break-through point for drunkenness. So we try to pretend what it will be like when we finally have pushed through to the promised land.



Now it's time for the dance party and we're all feeling ready. 50's and Cam are feeling it.


Let me introduce you to my new friend the The Durgler. Beware, you might get Durglarized™, Believe that!

Glasses rule this party.


Dancing also rules.


Mike from New York and his lady friend. In about 2 hours these guys will end up making out in the party bus while grossing out everyone around them. There should be a warning for dirty dancing.

No tie, tie. Very essential for dance floor getting downs.

Meg Durglar. Oh no, un uh.

If she said we partied, them I'm pretty sure we partied...

This girl has huge boobers.

This girl has lost her folks.


These folks have lost their minds.


So my friend The Durgler™ decides I need a new nickname that sticks. For the first time ever may I introduce myself as Flasky, later known as Flatchy for obvious reasons.


Getting Durglarized usually means hearing some sweet freestylez. "Yo, wake up and check my inbox at a note from my dead mom"


Our bartender, a gracious host, and Waff Allen's new best friend.

FFlash forward about 1.75 hours. We go back to the hotel bar and have a hotel party!! Just like R Kelly once said. There are some weird characters in here, but that's okay because the wedding party pretty much takes up the whole room.


The Durgan's show up ready and ragin'.


The Beautiful Bride


And... The Hansome Groom.


The Greatest man ever, Brad Allen, the grooms father is totally down. He's only had 4 Vicodin's and about 7 Rum Drinks. Who's Ready? We're Ready!


So Sultry.


In Chicago they have Old Style "Cubby cans." In Detroit they have Budweiser aluminum "Tiger bottles."


Beak takes everyone in the bar on for some good old fashioned arm wrestling.


Beak is a killer.




  1. Coley2:59 PM

    I see that the red shoes had this wedding on lock down. Huh. Never doubt me.

  2. Anonymous8:35 PM

    you've just been Durglarized™